Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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