I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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