I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
