i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Randomize
