i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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