I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
