he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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