Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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