I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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