And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
