Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
