I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
