i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
