She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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