As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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