I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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