Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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