apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
