kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
