Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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