he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
