..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
