What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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