there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
