is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Life is so much better after having sex.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
