Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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