just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
