by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Let's paint friendship bongs
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
