i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
