Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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