drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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