Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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