I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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