So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
