u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
