Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
