This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Fuck appropriateness.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
