I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
