So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
