Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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