Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
