Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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