We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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