He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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