i always forget guys have bellybuttons
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
