I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
