If i come over, it means nothing
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
