You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I have already put on my inside pants.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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