I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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