We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
ok first of all what the fuck
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
