She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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