That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
