the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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