I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Found the puke drawer
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I believe in your delicious
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
