Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
