i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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