hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
